Insecurity is a lack of trust

John 3:22–36

Insecurity is a lack of trust and, because we are all insecure in different ways, this means we all struggle with a lack of trust from time to time. This can come from abuse, neglect, and it can be reinforced, or even caused, by your family but getting through it requires truth and vulnerability. 

Vulnerability is essential to growing in faith and maturity. It took me a long time to understand that much of my insecurity comes from the culmination of many events as I was growing up. My parents divorce, drug abuse, sexual abuse, and so on. 

I talk about these things because I am trying to model vulnerability from the pulpit because, to spark a revolution and real change in the world, we must begin with our own lives.

Insecurity forces us to wear a mask and to pretend to be something we are not. As we live the lie, it becomes a part of who we are. The lie itself comes to define us and guide our feelings and actions. What is it that you struggle with? What are you afraid people will think about you?

From last Sunday, listen to Jesus talk about how we react when we are confronted with truth,

The light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. For everyone who practices wicked things hates the light and avoids it, so that his deeds may not be exposed. But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God.”

 Jn 3:18–21

22 After this, Jesus and His disciples went to the Judean countryside, where He spent time with them and baptized. 23 John also was baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was plenty of water there. People were coming and being baptized, 24 since John had not yet been thrown into prison. 

Jn 3:22-24

First of all, it wasn’t Jesus baptizing people. In fact, Jesus didn’t baptize anybody, it was his disciples doing the baptizing. 

25 Then a dispute arose between John’s disciples and a Jew about purification. 26 So they came to John and told him, “Rabbi, the One you testified about, and who was with you across the Jordan, is baptizing—and everyone is flocking to Him.” 

Jn 3:25-26

For some reason, John’s disciples were offended but the real issue was they were jealous. It wasn’t righteous indignation that was driving their argument, it was envy.

They were insecure and afraid of losing followers which meant losing everything from money to fame. This fear of losing what they had drove them to feel and believe that they were in competition with Jesus. They felt that Jesus’ success was a personal attack so, as a good leader, John takes a moment to correct his followers.

27 John responded, “No one can receive a single thing unless it’s given to him from heaven. 28 You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah, but I’ve been sent ahead of Him.’  

John explains that he knows he is NOT the Messiah. He explained that he, and by extension his disciples, are here to make way for the Messiah, not to be in competition against him. 

29 He who has the bride is the groom. But the groom’s friend, who stands by and listens for him, rejoices greatly at the groom’s voice. So this joy of mine is complete. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease.” 

Jn 3:27-30

He explains, in a very nice way, that it is obviously foolish for the best man or maid of honor to be jealous of the bride or groom. Actually, the best man and maid of honor should be happy that their friend is getting all the attention. More than this, it is the job of the best man and the maid of honor to make sure their friends get all the spotlight. 

It’s because of this perspective that John the Baptist is able to experience the success of Jesus with pure joy. Next, the gospel writer explains how this applies to everyone.

31 The One who comes from above is above all. The one who is from the earth is earthly and speaks in earthly terms. The One who comes from heaven is above all. 32 He testifies to what He has seen and heard, yet no one accepts His testimony. 

Jesus came from heaven. The one of the earth is all of us. He is above us, looking down with full knowledge. We are here with a limited earthly perspective which leads to a bit of hyperbolic language but he continues,

33 The one who has accepted His testimony has affirmed that God is true. 

John 3:33

“Affirmed” here is the technical term, “to place a seal upon” or to “to certify” something. A good example of this are the wax seals our founding fathers used to verify the surrender of the British. The point is that we also confirm that God is true by living as Jesus commands.

34 For God sent Him, and He speaks God’s words, since He gives the Spirit without measure. 35 The Father loves the Son and has given all things into His hands. 36 The one who believes in the Son has eternal life, but the one who refuses to believe in the Son will not see life; instead, the wrath of God remains on him. 

Jn 3:22–36

The insecurity of these disciples almost drove them to believe Jesus was an enemy combatant. Let that sink it. The disciples of John the Baptist, who saw Jesus baptism, who heard John preach, who heard Jesus preach, were told by their rabbi that Jesus was the messiah and yet, because of their insecurity and their fear, these men almost made Jesus their enemy.

That is the power that fear, and the anger it inspires, can have over us if we let it. 

1. Identify your insecurity because it all boils down to a lack of trust.

Chase your fear and anger back to its true source. For me, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt like I wasn’t valuable. For these disciples, they were afraid of losing whatever they had. In both cases, the feeling drives you to fear and eventually be angry. The disciples began arguing with people, I overcompensated by trying to be the life of the party. 

Now don’t misunderstand, it was not my parent’s fault I was an angry young man who sold drugs and threw keggers so people would like me. It is my fault and my sin. It’s not Jesus' fault the disciples were angry, it is also their sin. Just because you identify something as a trigger or even a cause, it doesn’t mean it is responsible. You are always responsible for your actions.

Insecurity reveals what you really trust. Ex: if you believe there isn’t enough of something (whether it's friends, money, or whatever), you will fall into fear of losing or missing out. If you don’t repent, it will lead to anger towards others and their success will feel painful to you. This should not be the case because the true source of joy and contentment is limitless. 

He gives the Spirit without measure.

This means that, if you are feeling inadequate, you are either in sin and/or struggling to trust in who God is. So ask yourself, What do you feel you lack? money, status, looks, charisma, etc. What are you afraid you will lose? Ex: Rather than ask yourself, “Why do I get offended when someone disagrees with me?” Ask yourself, "What do I feel like I will lose if they are right?"

Once you identify it, ask yourself, How can I turn this into an action? If it is sin, repent and search out a godly person for advice. If it’s an attitude problem, repent. Admit that your anger is misplaced, accept your forgiveness, and try to do better next time. Whatever the reason, you are the only one who can do something about it. This is why being honest and vulnerable is essential to the process: there is no personal growth without being real and vulnerable.

The question is, if you are afraid of being vulnerable,  “What are you afraid you’ll lose?”

2. Move from pretending to purpose

John was able to overcome life’s anxiety and his lust for position because he put Jesus and himself in the right order of priority. Ex: Paul heard about the drama in Corinth and he wrote,

⁷ For who makes you so superior? What do you have that you didn’t receive? If, in fact, you did receive it, why do you boast as if you hadn’t received it? ⁸ You are already full! You are already rich! You have begun to reign as kings… 

1 Cor. 4:7-8

They already had the HS and everything they needed to be content but they were not their repentance. Jesus said we should, “produce fruit consistent with repentance.” Matt 3:8. 

Once you admit your feelings are wrong, and make an effort to change your perspective, then you will begin to realize your self-worth is not grounded in your height, weight, or your past sins. Repenting and accepting Jesus as your highest priority, removes the shame that holds you down and provides the spirit of God that lifts you up. 

Insecurity makes you pretend and pretending is inauthentic. When you stop pretending, you can finally find his joy, contentment, and peace because you’ll understand that life is a gift you don’t deserve. This leads to gratitude and studies show that real gratitude leads to action.

No matter what the news says or your angry friend says, the world is filled with blessings. More importantly, God gives out his spirit without measure. If you have faith in Christ, you have faith in his word, if you have faith in his word, you are grateful and you will live as in thankfulness. 

If you do not feel like this is true, you have not made Christ your purpose and that is the problem, true freedom and security comes from being content with who you are in Christ and the joy that comes from contentment it is revealed and reinforced through practice. 

3. Live and affirm the truth of your calling

He must increase, but I must decrease.” 

All of this is summed up in the fact that Jesus must increase and you must make yourself smaller but not just in comparison to Jesus. Paul puts this into practice for his congregation in Philippi,

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Philippians 2:3–4

We serve God, by serving his people. Here is the thing people forget: Jesus is not physically here but you know who is? His people. Every one of us is made in the image of God and that image must be honored especially in others. 

⁹ With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.

James 3:9-10

As Jesus explained to his disciples, 

⁴⁰ “And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matt 25:40

To not love others is to not love God. This is why John ends with a warning of Hell and Jesus says, if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. The refusal to deal with your insecurity, fears, and anger attracts condemnation. That’s why the wrath of God remains on a person. 

If others cannot see and verify your faith, you do not have faith because faith is the evidence of our hope and the proof of the spiritual realm people cannot see. But someone might argue, “I believe it! How dare you question my faith!” Feel the anger. Chase the pain. 

Jesus literally said, 

33 "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit."

Matt 12:33 

Jesus' point is that if you are not living it, you don’t believe it. 

Judge your own fruit based on what Paul says,

19 "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality…envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." 

Gal 5:19-23

The Apostle John explains how it becomes a part of who you are,

18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." 

1 John 3:18

People get upset about Hell but Hell was not in the original blueprints for creation; it was added-on. Jesus tells us it was built for the devil and his angels (Matt 25:41) but if you choose to obey the devil and go the way of evil, why wouldn’t you go that same way when you die? 

“I willingly believe that the damned are, in one sense, successful, rebels to the end; that the doors to hell are locked on the inside.”

CS Lewis

Those who actually believe in Jesus and what he said, act on it, because they want his influence and his spirit to be a part of their life. Whether it is popular or not, Jesus is clear, it is when you obey His Word and put it into practice that you see his truth and experience his power.

Like riding a bicycle, the only way to get over the fear is to do it and the only way to seal your allegiance to Jesus is to make his commands a part of who you are by living them.

This matters because, as John warns, there are only two choices: you either trust Him or you reject Him but it is clear, our default is to reject him. This is why you need his Spirit and we all need to spend the rest of our lives growing to be more like him because we are grateful and Jesus must increase which means we must decrease.

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